January 21, 2008
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I am sort of confused by all of the new xanga stuff. All of those buttons… I can’t find somethings or how to fix them. Yesterdays post I first posted protected so I could hunt for pictures.. I am slow and then I could not figure out how to unprotect it so I jst backed up and found the page and posted that one but you know that makes two posts.
Hubby and I just returned form the vet.
I am neurotic, and obsessive.
Please pray for caesar’s body that it travels safely to Pennsylvania and comes back to me safely. I am worried about that.
The tech at the vet was very nice.
these past few days I have taken at least 50 photographs of my beloved boy’s quiet body.
Hubby took a few pictures of me kissing him at the vet.
These are things you do because you know if you didn’t you would regret it.
I have too many regrets in my life. Caesar was a huge part of my life and I have a huge Caesar shaped hole in my heart.
I am sooo cold today.
My doc called in some xanax for me. He just called to offer condolances for Caesar. Gosh I did not think there were doctors like that anymore.I have so many friends and family behind me, holding me up. I am overwhelmed at the love and attention.
I could not do this alone. I am thankful that my husband works at home now.I lifted Caesar from his basket and put him on the exam table on the bloo towel. The tech helped me.
She was very nice. She listened to all of my silly concerns.When we came home… I went to see Princess and she smelled my hands and drooled all over them. It made me cry for her.
She is holding up well. seems very happy. We will take good care of her and love her constantly and not leave her for long periods.
Even though their kitty cuppiebed was vacuum wrapped in plastic (because of their occasional barf fests) I removed all of the outer coverings and washed them but she refuses to go in to that bed. I think I wil look for a new one for her. something pretty for a sweet Princess. She used to love that cupbed. She deserves a beautiful bed that does not have sadness attatched to it.I ate some crackers. I cannot think of anything I feel like eating. Not even cookies. really. not even oatmeal cookies. not even cake.
I will have to force myself to eat some things.
I remember I was like this when Dolley died. eating was a very uncomfortable feeling. like I don’t know.Thank you for your support. Thank you for supporting me.
Please say a prayer for Blizzie. She is suffering at the compound and longing to be here.
She will be home in 9 days for a small break.
I love all of you.
Comments (15)
I am happy you have so much loving support. I will pray for Blizzie, too.
Love you
When Cappy died (he was my first cat…ever. I got him when I was a teenager.) Prailine (his best buddy) refused to leave his side. Even after he was gone, she slept on the blanket with his body until we took him to be buried. I buried him in one my my favorite, soft t-shirts. Geez.. Here I go. Blubbering again. I am getting all soggy on your blog again.
It’s hard, to miss them so much.
I’m so sorry to hear about Caesar. It is sooo hard to give up a loving pet. I will keep Blizzie and you in my prayers.
{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
It is hard because they give us so much more love then we give them. My mom said that she had a dream that all her past pets were in a circle around her and she was so happy. I thought and I think I would be sad because I feel I have let so many of my pets down. Everyone says,”that’s not true.”but that is the way I feel-that I would have been a better master to them.
Oh, Rosemary, I missed your blog that Caesar had died! I know how you are suffering. As you know we had Sugar put down for she was in so much pain. The year before, I found Lily dead under my bed and couldn’t accept she was gone even tho she had stiffened. Finally I knew what I had to do. She loved her bed so I wrapped her in her favorite cover and put her in the bed, put her in a box and buried her outside my BR window. She loved my BR. I put a cross there and that will always be a place I can be with her again. I cried all day that day. Every time I started to do something, I thought of her sweet face and her pleading eyes, “Please love me!”. For Sugar my grief was different. It was as tho my whole life had changed and would never be the same again. It won’t be. She was so much a part of my life then, that it will never be the same. Now I have Poof and Toby. Poof did not miss Sugar for they didn’t like each other. Now Poof adores Toby and I fear if anything would happen to either of them, the other would be like Princess.
Rosemary, it will take time for your grief to soften. Right now you feel raw as if a part of you has been torn away. It gets better. Let your grief flow. Don’t try to pretend everything is okay. Then one day, everything will be okay.
Blizzie will be in my evening prayers.
Love and a hug to you, dear friend,
Bev
PS I had Sugar cremated and her ashes are beside my chair. She would like that. I hope the vet makes an impression of his paw as they did for Sugar.
I will be thinking of you and Blizzie and hope you take comfort that Caesar went in such peace.
Prayers
(((HUGS)))
My first thought when I read about Caesar was that 1-you would not go to see BliZZie and 2-BliZZie could not come home… and IMO, you two needed each other right now. Lots of things in life are hard and hard to understand. I am glad you feel the love and support of friends and family. Our Henry was an old guy when he passed… heck, we’d had him longer than Alyssa! It was the first big thing Byron and I did together was get Henry, so it was like part of our history was missing. Besides him being the best puppy ever (we all 4 agree on that.) Anyways, all that said, I haven’t had a kitty as long as you, but I have had a pet that was just part of the family forever, it seemed. You have been in my thoughts so much since I learned this news… I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true: your family has a lot of wonderful memories and laughter attached to that boy… I am thankful God gave him and those time to you! (((HUGS!)))
I’m praying for you guys and still sending all kinds of hugs your way.
Hang in there!
Princess will miss her sweet buddy. She will be a comfort to you now.
Since JouJou left, our kitty friends have been exceptionally loveable. I don’t know who is trying to comfort who. They are a great comfort to me.
Caesar lived a good life but no matter how long they live , it’s just too hard to say good bye.
HUGS
As you know, I’ve been in your place recently. Trust me when I say everything will be handled with the upmost care and your worries will be for nothing.
I am so sorry I missed this one in my own agony over the events in my silly life. (((((HUGS))))) for you and then some.